Slow Down Time.

As Lincoln moves from diapers to underwear, from being a soccer wallflower to the confident star of the show, and from a two to three-year-old, I am beginning to realize how quickly this all goes.  So many people tell you to hold on and it flies by, but for so long I was stuck in babyhood.  Two babies under two-years-old is what people write professional blogs about - it is not easy.  Sleepless nights on top of raging tantrums.  Diapers and more diapers coupled with bottles for both babies.  We are now on the other side, and I am starting to miss my babies as they grow into these (somewhat) independent toddlers who are so funny, kind, and smart.

This break has been the best break I have ever had with my boys.  It was timed just right - I was stressed at school and needed the time away.  I was feeling slightly disconnected from the boys because I was working so hard, had long days, and spent a lot of time doing work at home.  Then these two weeks come, and POOF - I am with the boys for 17 straight days.  And it was amazing.

We spent a lot of time exploring areas within our own city and spent a week traveling to Florida.  There have been countless times that all three of us break into extreme laughter and it just keeps going.  We have created memories that are just Lincoln, Declan and me and that is so special.

The moment I want to remember the most happened in Florida.  It was really MOMENTS because it happened twice a day while there.  Lincoln has put himself to sleep since he was about five months old.  But he was scared of his new surroundings in Florida, and our first night his bedtime was so late that I didn't want to deal with him freaking out so I laid down with him in bed.  We have never done this and he was super excited I was there.  He was also so tired that he almost immediately fell asleep but the routine was established so for naps and bed time I laid with him until he fell asleep and then snuck out to my own bed.  At first I was annoyed at losing this "me" time - that time between their bedtime and my own.  After accepting my fate for the week I began to look forward to this time.  We talked about our day.  I rubbed his little head.  He hit me in the head with his bulldozer or made his Mickey give me a kiss.  We giggled.  We pretended to close our eyes but then opened them really quickly.  But the moment that I want to always remember is this:  Lincoln, my energetic two almost three-year-old, would be wide awake full of laughter, jokes, and smiles.  After patience and time, his body would settle down.  His breathing would slow.  His eyes would flutter, and just like that, he was asleep.  His innocence and my maternal need to protect him was so strong as I watched this baby sleep.  His chubby hands clinching his truck.  His cheeks flushed. His hair sweaty.  He seems so big, but is still my baby in so many ways.

That moment of my fire ball toddler turning into a gentle sleeping baby is one that I will carry with me for a long time.  I know I don't have many moments where he will want to lay with me, will yell for one more cuddle at bedtime, or grab for my hand.  I am so thankful that this Spring Break was just enough time to remind me to slow down and enjoy the ride because it is flying by.