Motherhood

Declan 10/29/14

Honesty post:

I can be a know-it-all; after all, I am usually right more than I am wrong. :)  I have spent 20 years taking care of other people's children, and I really felt like I would be a pro at being a mother.  Not until June of 2013 did I realize how little I knew about this gigantic task ahead of me.

Lincoln 06/15/13

Motherhood is so big.  It fills my entire life, my body, my soul.  Keeping the boys alive is the easy part - it is the enormity of helping them learn, creating a house that feels safe, encouraging them to take chances, and letting them fail.  It is watching their little faces get so excited when they see something or someone new, and embracing them when they feel hurt or scared.  I can only imagine how much harder this task will be as they are sure to face situations where they are upset, shy, or nervous and I won't be there to cheer them on, hold their hands, or give them the gentle push.  That tears my heart apart just thinking about it, but it is part of this whole life process.  Holding them tight now and learning to let go.

Lincoln and Declan are an extension of me in this universe.  They carry my genes, our family name, and memories that will be passed onto their children and so on.  I hurt when they hurt, and I smile when they smile.  But, I am slowly learning they are also their own people and the most I can do is teach them values, show them unwavering love and encourage them to make choices that will better the world.   Motherhood is raising these two young boys to be respectful, kind, helpful, and not be shy to show their love to those who deserve it.

This Mother's Day I reflect on how much I have changed in two short years.  My life's purpose is here in front of me - my two boys and loving husband.  My priority is my family.  I can't wait to experience more of this "Motherhood" - the ups, downs, the good, the bad, and the beautiful.

One of our first outings in June 2013

Slightly more confident Momma now :)